Apr 09
Some winners of The Washington Post’s contest for alternate meanings for common words:
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Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.
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Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.
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Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
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Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absentmindedly answer the door in your nightgown.
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Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.
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Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.
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Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.
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Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
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Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
